He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
