Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
