my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
