i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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