K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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