I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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