apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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