I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this