I skipped work to stalk him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?