so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.