your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
