I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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