I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize