My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
