I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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