you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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