Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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