the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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