heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
