My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound