did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
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just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm gonna fight the coyote