my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.