i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.