She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
