Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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