If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I would ride that face into the sunset
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
