I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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