Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
