Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
