The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize