the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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