TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
