you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
