I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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