He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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