But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
