Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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