I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
