apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
