What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
