thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
