I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My liver just broke up with me...
someone owes me an orgasm
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
