If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
