Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
