Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
