I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
