What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
