I CAN MOONWALK!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
