How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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