I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
