Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
