They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
