I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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