Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
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The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize