We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
