I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
