I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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