come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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