We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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