Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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