and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
