I'm going to rape someone's good day.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
