im drinking this country out of the recession.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize