Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
