So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
