So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
