She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Text me some of your sweat
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
